What was the trigger
Colleen: After 20+ years together, we had a home in west palm beach. Our kids were getting older. Only one was left with us. My elderly parents were no longer living with us. And with just three of us, the house starting feeling too big. So, we sold it and we were renting while we decided what’s next. And then covid hit.
I remember going from meeting to meeting on my laptop thinking, i could literally do this from anywhere. And that’s what triggered the old dream of living in france. I knew that if we bought another home in the us, that dream would die. And i wasn’t ready to give up. So i challenged antoine to give me one good reason to not move to france! I really wanted to go.
Antoine: Honestly, I wasn’t on board with the idea of moving to France. All my connections were here after 32 years in the us. My business was here, my tennis buddies, my friends, everything I knew as an adult was here. I mean the idea of being close to my family was very appealing, but man, it felt very vulnerable for me.
As a professional public speaker, being on the road all the time, and running an online business, I could live anywhere I wanted to. I didn’t have a good reason to say no. And it really mattered to Colleen.We asked our 16-year-old son if he was on board, and he was all-in.
I called my brother Vincent and told him I was moving back. That was a pretty emotional day for me.
So I told Colleen, let’s give ourselves one year to move, because that’s a big commitment and that will give us the time to be ready.
Preparing for the move
Colleen: Antoine was okay with moving, I was ready to go. Like that scene from When Harry met Sally “when you know how you want the rest of your life to look, you want it to start now”. So I started collecting boxes. By the end, I collected over 150 of them.
I had a spot in the garage for flat-folded boxes and a corner in my office for the ones already packed.
Little by little, I packed up things that Antoine wouldn’t notice missing. And then he started seeing boxes and finding empty cabinets and empty shelves.
I was donating things and giving things away left and right. Between October and December i think i gave away over 40 jigsaw puzzles, lots of small appliances I couldn’t plug in France, heavy bakeware and vases, and enough books to fill a library.
Antoine: Now that was a monster move. We had moved a couple of times already, but usually across town when you can make multiple trips if need be. This was planning a move where forgetting something wasn’t an option.
And loading your stuff in a 40-foot container to be shipped across the sea is not the same as packing a moving truck.
A lot of decisions had to be made about what we would take with us and what we would leave behind. We really only had room to take about half of what we owned. The rest had to be sold or given away to charity.
Pretty much all electronics had to stay and be sold or donated. We kept our computers and that was pretty much it. The rest wouldn’t work in france anyway.
I can still remember looking at our container packed with all our belongings on the shipping dock in miami and asking myself, what happens if it gets lost or falls in the sea. That was another very vulnerable moment for me. And i said, we’ll be fine, we’ll be just fine. It will suck really bad, but we’ll be fine, everything in this container can be replaced.
This was a defining moment of our move to france. None of my possessions are really that important. What matters is my family. This is just stuff
Moving to France
Colleen: Finding a home in Paris is one of the places I romanticized a bit. I imagined lots of little plazas and marches we had visited. I binge watched Emily in Paris – just season 1! And thought about a nice little apartment above a boulangerie. I mean, hey, if you’re going to have a dream come true, why not dream a little bigger. I wanted that cafe terrace life.
Antoine: Finding a home in France was really challenging for us. It almost derailed our plans of moving to France. I foolishly thought that finding a place to rent would be like in the us. Boy was I wrong.
By October I was looking for a place to rent after the school year ended in June. And I found plenty of homes that were a great fit for us…until I called for more info. And the first question out of their mouth was “do you have a full-time job in a french company” and the answer was no. I’ve been an independent for 25 years – will that be a problem? And it was.
See, in France, it’s a renter’s market. Renting a place gives a lot of protection from being evicted if you can’t pay. So French property owners have very strict rules when accepting a tenant.
They want to be sure you’ll be able to pay your rent. And since employees also have a lot of protection from being fired at will, having a full-time job assures the landlord that you’ll be able to pay. I even offered to pay the full year upfront but even that is not allowed in france.
We went from being excited to wondering if we were going to be able to move at all. I was frustrated and colleen was really disappointed. I was willing to rent something, but not willing to buy until we had been there for at least a couple of years.
After about a month of searches all around Paris, and dealing with rejection after rejection, we found a landlord that was willing to accept our circumstances. That was a huge relief. And the house was amazing.
Trouble is, the house was available in January, not June, and he needed to rent it asap. We had to make a very tough decision. Either let the house go and stay on our schedule and risk not finding a place
Or move in 5 weeks instead of 7 months. It got real. It was an emotional & difficult decision. We talked to our son, made some calls and pulled the trigger. We‘re now moving in 5 weeks.
All the extra time we thought we had just evaporated.
Thank god, Colleen started packing months ago.
Our first year
Colleen: Moving day was January 7, 2021. Looking back, I think that moving to France during covid was a hidden gift. It was difficult having all the restriction. But it also meant that I got to have lots of my “firsts” in small bites.
I really thought I knew what it would be like. Antoine and I had visited many times over the years. We stayed in the suburbs and did regular stuff like grocery shopping and gardening. We drove and ran errands. I wasn’t like the starry-eyed people that move after one quick visit. I thought I knew Paris like a local.
But even as a tough cookie, I was brought to tears many times. I felt so stupid, so often. I knew some words and phrases, but I definitely didn’t speak French.
The good news is that I am what the french call “bien installé”. I have been installed well into the french life. And after 10 months of waiting to learn if my renewal was approved, I finally picked up the new one this week.
Now I’m good for another couple of years.
Antoine: Moving back to France was weird for me. My entire adult life has been in the us. My children were born in the us. I bought my first home in the Fort Lauderdale. I built my business and my community in the us.
I was a frenchie to all my friends, but I came to realize, is that I identify as an American.
I had zero connection to how things were done in France anymore. Of course, i have the huge advantage of being a French native, but after 32 years in the us, I felt like a stranger in my own country.
And I can see it in their eyes, I’m just a bit weird for them. I’m way too friendly, I’m very direct and say what I mean, I have lost the French formalities & manners.
Starting our youTube channel
Colleen: I wasn’t supposed to be on the channel. I knew Antoine was going to start something. And I was happy to support him behind the scenes. I just didn’t feel camera-ready. Most of the self-esteem I had, was lost in the day to day of living life where you are not understood and struggle to figure things out.
On top of that, i don’t look perfect like the stereo-typical “influencer”. That’s just not me. I’ll help him do his thing.
But, i did want to explore and discover france. And doing that with my honey bun sounded like a good idea.
Antoine: After moving here, we wanted to explore paris & all of france but it was in the middle of covid so our only access was via youtube. And i didn’t like much of what i was seeing. I wanted to show it my way.
So i grabbed a camera and started filming stuff that mattered to us, how to navigate the metro, where the best bistros and where to have fun. Most of our early videos sucked but we didn’t care, we were having fun. Those videos were for us.
It didn’t take long for colleen to say “hey, i want to say something here, start filming” and the rest is history.
Would we do it again
Colleen: Making the move was a big deal. I remember someone saying it took a lot of courage to do that. And again, I cried. What’s so courageous about doing what you wanted to do. Except it is a big deal. And it took a lot.
But Paris is my home. If I had it to do all over again, I’d jump through every hurdle and go through every adversity.
We completely reinvented ourselves here. And I like who we’ve become.
Antoine: Even with all the adversity and challenges we encountered. I have zero regret.
The overall quality of our life is far superior here. And i also know that this is not for everybody. We have friends that are thinking of moving here too and i’ll tell you the same thing i told them. Rent a place where you want to live in france for 6 months, spend a winter here, learn about the french tax system.
And if you’re still in love with the idea after, well, then it’s bienvenue en France!!